Little Johnny at the neighbors...
Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby.
Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears.
When they
arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's
parents were very afraid that their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby so the dad had a long talk with little
Johnny before going to the neighbors.
He said "Now, son... that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to
be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears or I am really going to spank you when we get back home."
"I
promise not to mention his ears at all" said Little Johnny.
At the neighbors home, Little Johnny leaned over in the
crib and touched the baby's hand He looked at it's mother and said "Oh What a Beautiful little baby". The mother said "Thank
you very much, Little Johnny."
He then said, "this baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just
look at his pretty little eyes.... Did his doctor say that he can see good?"
The Mother said "why, yes Johnny... his
doctor said he has 20/20 vision.
Little Johnny said "well, its a darn good thing, cause he sure couldn't wear glasses!!!
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Leave It To The Kids
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively
ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I’m having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is
the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good
baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then
why did you eat him?"
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The wish
An Egyptian and an Israeli are walking together in the desert. Suddenly, one of them finds a bottle full of coke. As the
bottle is opened, a genie flies out and says" each of you has one wish, choose carefully and I will grant it." The Israeli
says "I want a huge wall around Israel, this wall should prevent anyone from coming in or going out. The genie replied, your
wish has been granted, go home naad see for yourself. When the Genie asked the Egyptian, he said" can anyone get through that
wall?","No, course not" "an anyone get out?'of course not, "fine then fill it with water".
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Peace
Clinton is on the beach at Martha's Vinyard and finds that an old bottle has washed ashore. When the Prez opens it a very
wan Genie snakes out.
Genie: Hi Bill. I'm a very weak genie, so I can only grant you one wish--it had better
be easy if you want me to do it.
Clinton: I pray for world peace. Give me that.
Genie: That's
a little hard, give me something easier.
Clinton: Make Hillary into the most beautiful woman in the world?
Genie:
World peace it is.
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Try to catch the rabbit
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending
criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The
CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three
months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no
leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it
coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay!
I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
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Police are in a chase
Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line,
the first Trooper pulled over quickly.
The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"
The
sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."
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